Tag Archives: victimhood

Victim Impact Statement

On Wednesday, the 21st of May, the man who raped me was sentenced. Four years, four months and four days after the assault took place. In the end, he did not face charges of rape – the two charges of … Continue reading

Posted in rape, violence against women | Tagged , , , | 29 Comments

Disconnected, Or the difficulty of maintaining relationships after violence

One of the most insidious impacts of violence is the toll it exacts on your relationships, on your ability to connect to other people, to feel, to trust, to communicate, to believe in them and in yourself, to believe in … Continue reading

Posted in rape, violence against women | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

Day 9. End Stigma

Why does the stigma of rape lie with the victim and not the perpetrator? Why do we associate disgrace with the person whose vulnerability has been exploited and not the person willing to exploit that vulnerability? Why do we look … Continue reading

Posted in 16 days, rape, violence against women | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Personal testimony

A week ago I attended the Victims of Crime Assistance Tribunal (VOCAT) for my final hearing. I addressed the court about the impacts of sexual assault on my life, about what it is like to be made a victim of rape and … Continue reading

Posted in violence against women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

To those who support us, I say THANK YOU

Supporting a survivor of sexual assault is no easy task. I can’t really know what it’s like, on the other side. The loving family member or friend who is restricted to the periphery as their loved one implodes, explodes and … Continue reading

Posted in rape, violence against women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Work of Recovery

After the assault, I took a month’s annual leave. Ostensibly this was time to ‘recover’, to rest and recuperate. A necessary break from the stress and demands of ordinary life in order to focus my energy on surviving what had … Continue reading

Posted in rape, violence against women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Emerging/Submerged/Reemerging

The past few days have been difficult ones. Yet again, terror and grief, anger and bewilderment have welled up within me and then broken over me spilling distress and hurt, unleashing panic and sweeping away calm with a decisiveness that … Continue reading

Posted in rape, violence against women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments